I have been a die-hard Spider-Man fan since I was three and being a big movie buff as well, I thought I could put those two loves together and write a Spider-Man 4 script that I would love to see on the big screen.
As many of the storylines were wrapped up in Spider-Man 3, I wanted to continue the story with the next chapter in Peter Parker's journey but breathe some new life into the story that, by the end, will be a nice set up for future Spider-Man films. This spec script is loosely inspired by the popular "Kraven's Last Hunt" storyline. The synopsis is as follows:
Having lost both his best friend and the love of his life, Peter Parker tries to push his personal and professional life forward after graduating from University. But both Peter's future and that of his superhero alter-ego are threatened when two foreigners come to New York with a plot to bury Spider-Man once and for all. After seemingly defeating Spider-Man, with the help of The Chameleon, Kraven the Hunter takes up Spidey's post of New York's "protector", throwing the city into a deadly panic only one man can end. But will our hero rise from the ground or is this truly the end for the city... and for Spider-Man?
If you have read the entire script, I'd love to hear your feedback in the comment section below. Please share your thoughts on everything from Mary Jane's departure to the use of villains, but please give large spoiler warnings in regards to the script's twists. I will frequent the board and respond to as many posts as I can.
Enjoy! And if you're a large talent agency or management company, and like my work, I'd love to hear from you.
Click here to read about my other projects and
here to contact me.
Based on characters owned by Marvel Entertainment, Inc. This script is Un-Official. It is not associated with Marvel. It uses content copyright by Marvel, without permission as fan-fiction. This material is used for the purposes of informed discussion, and is not intended to interfere with Marvel's right to use said material for their own commercial goals.
|
My one criticism was the initial handling of the Rhino, but the rest was sooooo perfect I forgot I wish they had made this the movie, seriously keep writing don't waste your gift.
You had some great ideas. Since the point of the "Comments" section is feedback, as a fellow writer I'll give you mine.
Positive:
- Peter had a strong characterization, right from the start. Forgetting his speech, his nervousness, etc.
- I liked Peter's journey through this story, especially as he pursues teaching.
- THANK YOU for making Spider-Man a wise cracking smart ass! That was sorely missed in Raimi's renditions. Although I thought he lost that post-burial (obviously he's pretty serious and focused, but he'd still get a couple in there. It's Spidey - he can't help it.)
- The lack of love story works. You're right, it's been done to death.
- The lizard build-up was excellently done. Love the very last scene.
- Having new supporting cast members was nice. Betty and Ned were great.
- The twist on Ned was handled well. I love a good crazy stalker villain.
- The "death" scene where Peter talks with Ben and Harry was very well written and communicated some good truths. I like how you dealt with the whole Spidey/Peter element.
- Your fight settings were cinematically ideal. A concert stadium, a museum... all visually interesting.
Negative:
- I think the Kraven conclusion should have ended with Chameleon driving away laughing, or at the very most when Kraven commits suicide. The suicide could have been a strong ending, but I felt it was instantly ruined by the Rhino's presence. The Betty twist is interesting but I would rather it didn't happen. Rhino is a B-lister, and he should in no way be responsible for Kraven's downfall. Either leave their getaway as a cliffhanger, or have him receive his "honorable death".
- I think Kraven's master plan would be stronger if he actually wears the Spider-Man costume and people believe that Spidey's now a murderer (closer to the true KLH story). The "similar costume" thing didn't jive for me.
- Some of the dialogue was cringe-worthy (not much, but some). Chameleon's first reply to Spidey is "No duh"? Too third-grade-little-girl for my taste.
Hope that helps as you continue to tweak your script. Maybe someone will read it and use elements to shape a great Spidey 4 - and you'll get credited!
I think we need people like you in the Directors Chair! Good Luck !
The reason I wrote Mary Jane out was because exactly what one of you pointed out... that she's been placed in harm's way in the climax of the first three movies and I wanted to avoid that, in addition to trying to something different by not focusing as much on Peter's love life for a change. I have ideas for what I'd write as my Spider-Man 5 and 6 and I'd bring her back at the conclusion of Spidey 5 and bring them back together in my Spider-Man 6. As a Spider-Man fan, I've always loved MJ and acknowledge that she's an important part of Peter's life.
I gave you the second comment. This last comment (right under mine) was not written by me.
(Although the absence of Mary Jane didn't thrill me either)
As a fellow aspiring screenwriter, I have to say I'm both impressed and exceedingly jealous about just how damn good your Spidey 4 script is! The characters were genuine, the story was well-paced (I couldn't stop reading it!), the action and emotional turbulence that Peter experiences was rewarding, the twists worked, and the humor was strong. This was fantastic work.
I have to say that I'm not thrilled that MJ was absent, but I'd imagine you did that to make the story more workable and to avoid placing her fully in harm's way for the 4th time. Also, I'd tone down how much Pete talks to Betty over the cell phone, and JJJ was hilarious in the 1st act, amusing in the 2nd, but by the 3rd it was a bit much - maybe cut some of his scenes towards the end?
This could still use a polish, as there are also a handful of grammatical errors, but overall it's very impressive, and I applaud your ending - it's something all Spidey fans have been asking for! If this were actually made, I'd go see it and snap up the DVD. Hey, why can't this be Spidey 5?
Good luck with this - selling a spec script is really tough unless you know people, but I'd relish seeing this made.
-Alex
You're right Peter, I do need an Agent and hope to use this site to help me get in that direction.